Hello, my name is Mr. Whoop Ass. There’s only one thing about me you need to know – If you piss me off, be expecting an ass whooping…
One day I was on my laptop clunking my way through cyberspace when I received a message: “Alert your computer has been hijacked. All of your files are compromised.” My computer went into lockdown mode, and I could not use it anymore. I proceeded to punch a hole in the wall. Afterwards, I took my laptop to a computer savvy friend. This friend told me that someone named Blake Todd from 312 Zap Lane, Olympia, Washington, Apartment #848 put the virus on my computer.
The next day, I hopped on a train and took a few buses to Olympia. I found the apartment complex rather easily. I jumped the fence and walked straight to apartment #848. I busted through the door. Nothing was in the main room except a few empty pizza boxes. There were two signs on the bedroom door – “Viruses Rule” and “I hate human beings.” I kicked the door down. There sat a pudgy, curly haired middle aged man wearing nothing but underwear furiously typing into a keyboard, playing a game with ghouls and goblins. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he swiftly turned around, snarled and then said, “Who the hell are you?! What are you doing here?!”
I replied, “Hello, my name is Mr. Whoop Ass. I heard you like to create computer viruses. I think you can guess what happens next.”