Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Anyone who has met me for more than seven minutes will usually hear some kind of reference to Native Americans (because I’m so intrigued by their tribal history, culture and lifestyle).  Well, a few years ago I was at church (one of the only times I’ve been to church in the last few years) joking around after the service saying that all politicians should smoke from the peace pipe during their political conventions, and then we wouldn’t have as much war.  Well, one of the church goers who was listening to me really liked what I was saying, and must have thought I was a hip groovy dude.  He asked me to hang out at his place some time.  And so a few weeks later, I agreed to come.  When we talked a few hours before the hang out, he asked, “Would it be cool if another one of my friends comes?  He’s got mushrooms.  Do you like mushrooms?”  I thought that was a weird side dish to ask about, but I just took it that the guy really liked mushrooms, so I said, “Okay, sure.  That sounds good.”  I got to his place.  He and his friend were there.  Right away his friend pulled out a bag of mushrooms and threw them on the table, and said, “Let’s do this.”  Immediately, I was thinking, “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap…”  I don’t condemn or look down upon people for using drugs, but that’s just not my thing.  I don’t use socially acceptable recreational drugs like alcohol either.

After not saying anything for like a minute, I said, “Uhh…uhh… I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood you man.  I don’t mess around with this stuff.”  My church going pal was like, “But you said, you’d be down with mushrooms.”  I replied, “I didn’t realize you meant those kind of mushrooms.  I thought we were talking about mushrooms on a pizza.”  His friend said, “Well, fuck I can’t get high now.  [points to me] This guy doesn’t want to get high.”  I said, “I’m sorry man, I don’t know what to tell you.”  Eventually they conversed among one another and decided to eat their shrooms anyway.  I don’t know why I didn’t leave at that point, but I continued to stay and we watched a movie together.  Thankfully, nothing else crazy happened, and after the movie I left, and that was that.
I'm guessing I would have been seeing stuff like the above picture had I participated in the shroom eating.


  1. You have great restraint. I'm not sure how I would have reacted in the situation.

  2. You are still a "fungi" (fun guy) to me!

  3. i thought your header was more skinwalker than werewolf!

  4. Ben, I didn't know how to react, myself. It was so awkward.

    haha... linto, you're the pun king!

    -E-, good observation!

  5. that's hilarious! Kind of reminds me of the scene in Youth in Revolt.

  6. that's hilarious! Kind of reminds me of the scene in Youth in Revolt.

  7. You gotta watch out for the bad mushrooms.
    Nicholas Evans writer of The Horse Whisperer nearly wiped out his family after picking the wrong uns.
    I used to frequent a bar where the punters drank cider and smoked funny weed.You didn't need to smoke yourself,the fumes got you high.