Monday, May 2, 2011

A Story from my Blood

I have always romanticized DEATH, thought that dying young was equivalent to eternal youth.  I liked the idea of remaining untarnished by time and being remembered for what my life could have been.

‘How sad,’ they would think, ‘she had her whole wonderful future ahead of her.’  

It is only now when DEATH has introduced itself to me that I see things differently.  All I can think is, “I’m not ready to go.”  But DEATH grabs me by the hand, and says, “You’re coming with me.”

I am dragged through a corridor of holographic images and instead of seeing my life flash before me, I see his. He is beside me and watches helplessly as DEATH pulls me to Life’s exit door.  All I feel is fear, perhaps it’s fear of the unknown or fear of simply not existing anymore or maybe even fear of the imminent pain I am about to endure.  The feelings of fear are interrupted by a blistering pain in my head where the bullet enters my skull, but it only lasts for a breath and then it ends.  The second right after DEATH is the greatest relief.  Clarity at last.  Peace finally.  Everything was beautiful.  Nothing hurt.  That sounds familiar.

Dying lasts a moment and it lasts an eternity.  Then I wake up again in the body of another being, another shell.  Suddenly everything that was so clear is now just a distant memory and I don’t know whether it was a dream or reality.  I can’t speak.  All I do is cry.  My legs are too weak to walk.  Each day, I remember a little less until my hazy origins completely disappear.  It usually takes a couple of years until I get accustomed to the new shell and accept it as my own.  Once I embrace my fate, I begin fresh.  I learn language and numbers, everything all over again, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t remember the past life.  The life with himOur shells are always different and we never remember each other yet we always seem to find one another.

"I love the gun" original art by my sis, Aguilar Jillian

Written by my sister, Aguilar Jillian (and if you wanna take a look at her more visually stimulating blog thing, then click here)
Edited by the Aguilar Brothers (that’s how my sister and I affectionately refer to ourselves whenever we collaborate)

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